might want extra lube before you get too crazy.

Dat Superbowl

So, yesterday was the Super Bowl. I hate football but I watched it, not for the commercials, although they can be funny, but the reason I watched is because I never miss a chance to get drunk with my family. I consumed so much alcohol yesterday, I don't really remember any of the commercials, or anything for that matter. I remember the game  because I had a whole five dollars riding on the Baltimore Ravens. I actually hate competition and wish both teams could win, so it was hard to root against a team, especially the 49ers because their quarterback, Colin Kaepernick looks kind of dumb, and seems like a nice guy. 

Colin Kaepernick

I realize it's foolish to feel bad for someone who makes so much money, but I do. And Ray Lewis, the Raven's linebacker might be a murderer, so that was kind of weird hoping his team would win.

 

Ray Lewis 

 

If Ray Lewis was known for being abusive to animals or something, I definitely wouldn't have bet on the Ravens, the only reason I did was because my Uncle was all about the 49ers and he was the only one willing to bet on it. Sports are more entertaining when you have money riding on them.

One thing I didn't like about the entertainment for the Superbowl was that they had the Sandy Hook Elementary School survivors sing "America the Beautiful" with Jennifer Hudson. It seems those kids know first hand why America isn't so great, actually, I take that back, it's the world that sucks; meaning humans. I obviously do not have a logical complaint against this, it just seemed in bad taste to me.

 

The gorgeous Alicia Keys sang the "Start Spangled Banner", It was good, it wasn't the most riveting rendition,  but we can't all be Whitney Houston....or Rosanne.

So what else happened this Superbowl? The coaches of the opposing teams were brothers, that's cool.  Made for some cute memes.

Perhaps "cute" isn't the right term. Then the ever-successful Beyonce performed for the half time show. My grandpa fell in love with her, so at least she looked good. It was fine, nothing to write home to mom about.

The best part of of the whole game was the power outage.

 

 

I kept imagining that I was at the Superdome, sitting next to a sexy dude and the power goes out, then, I make my move and grab for his crotch...