animals

I am sooo stressed out about animals. this morning at three a.m. i awoke and could not stop thinking about a "faces of death" video i saw when i was in jr high that showed poor rabbits being torn apart while they were still alive.

i just finished reading chuck palahniuk's "lullaby", which was a very good book but makes you think of the animal cruelty in the food industry; a specific quote:
"in my refrigerator, the milk's gone sour. all that pain and suffering wasted. the cheese is huge and blue with mold. a package of hamburger has gone gray inside its plastic wrap. the eggs look okay, but they're not, they can't be, not after this long. all the effort and misery that went into this food, and it's all going in the garbage. the contributions of all those miserable cows and veals, it gets thrown out."
-lullaby(chuck palahniuk)

luckily i read this quote after i recently gave up meat. want to know why i recently gave up meat? i had went on a walk with my cousin and saw a herd of cows (with a few calf's) and they were all staring at me...and i swear that with their eyes they were asking me "why do you contribute to our pain and suffering?" 


the cows with their sorrowful eyes and chuck palahnuik's eye opening words forced me to give up meat for the third time....yes, the third time. i obviously have no will power but i really hope i can maintain my vegetarianism this time. my longest stint was over a year, and the second time was barely a month. to top it all off i still consume egg, seafood and dairy. if i buy eggs i try to purchase "cage free"...if that even matters. and for some reason i don't feel bad for seafood...i know that is wrong, i mean, who am i to judge which animals deserve to live. all i know is i have to start small, and slowly work my way towards vegan. hopefully by the time i get to that point i can afford a private vegan chef or i can get enough education and money to prepare my own vegan meals.

today on my walk, my cousin and i were followed by a darling stray dog. the small backwards town that i reside in (and grew up in ) has no concern for animals. it is so frustrating. there are so many strays and tons of people leave their gates open and let their animals run amuck...meanwhile cars are zooming by.

it's infuriating to say the least. i wish people would adopt animals....when they are ready for a real commitment. and also society needs to stop supporting dog breeders.

i can go on and on about all the jerkwad things that humans do to animals but i have to throw up now and sob in my bedroom about all the suffering creatures in the world...i cannot....i will not focus on this subject anymore tonight. i hate to be an ostrich with my head in the sand but there is only so much animal cruelty i can acknowledge without taking a hatchet and ridding the world of assholes that feel they are entitled to treat animals like shit. i am not religious but i wish there was a hell and all the pricks that do not consider animals feelings have to go there....or better yet...reincarnatin would be good coz then they can come back as animals. that would be perfect....just for my peace of mind. whenever i see a suffering animal, to ease my heart, i will assume the animal is a reincarnated human that was cruel to animals in their past life.