if i had a nickel for everyone who's seen my butthole...

i waited until i was 19 years old too lose my virginity. not so much because i was a prude, i was just a decent looking girl with large breasts who didn't want anyone in my small town to claim the title of taking my virginity.

so, when i was 19 i met a young man online and fell in love. he lived about 400 miles from me, but we started a long distance relationship and he is who i lost my virginity to. we were together for six wonderful years, we lived together for almost five of those years. and he was the only man i had ever slept with.

fast forward to the end of our relationship, and i was ready to sew my wild oats. 

i went from chaste girlfriend to super whore. i had sex with anyone. it was a lot of fun. i love random sex with strangers. but i must be honest, the title of this blog should be, if i had a nickel for everyone who has seen my vagina, but butthole went better with the comic i posted. not to say my butthole is a sacred place that has been hidden from the world or anything like that. i do love to moon people, but not to the point that my butthole shows, just my butt cheeks.

i am again in a committed relationship. i love my boyfriend, but i do miss the excitement of going out and not knowing who or what you are going to wake up next to in the morning. 

the old adage is true: you can't turn a hoe into a housewife

i think i will make a needlepoint for my living room.

               

i think it would be a great decoration. and also, it's a good thing for men to know. there are a lot of men, who, after having awesome sex with a slut, wants to marry her. many have wanted to marry me. they see how wild i am and still think i'll calm down. which i have lately, but it is only a matter of time before i need to go out and get my freak on with a bunch of strangers again. it's the circle of life people.

such a great song ^^

a lot of men have kids with crazy whores. then when they meet a decent women, they end up having a bunch of crazy "baby mamma drama". if a girl is really good in bed, and doesn't make you wear a condom; put a damn condom on anyways unless you want to deal with that bitch the rest of your life. 

i use condoms when having random sex. even when i am drunk i still make them use protection. granted, i am not perfect and there has been a few times when i was so drunk and horny that i didn't give a shit. but that is rare. i don't want diseases and i do not want children. my first AIDS test i took was back in the day when they gave you the results two weeks later. that was the longest two weeks of my life. i thought of every stupid thing i have done in my sex life. i was bitchy and just worried. luckily it came out negative. now, you can get your results in ten minutes. it's still a long ten minutes; you hear loud and clear every time the clock ticks.

i think if someone has herpes, genital warts or aids, they should have to get a small tattoo near their crotch. then, the only people who would know is the people who are about to have sex with them. and they should know. and even though it is scary every one should get tested for aids and std's. sex should be fun and less risky. but of course people suck and diseases will just keep spreading. 

i wish i lived back in the days of "free love". when you could have a good old fashioned orgy and not worry about serious diseases.

now let's all bow our heads in prayer and ask god for a world without scary std's. amen.

twilight sucks. am i right? i'm right aren't i?

first i would just like to state that i am totally opposed to gay bashing, and using derogatory gay terms. but i thought that comic ^^ was funny. 

i hate the twilight movies, and i think that edward and jacob are soooo stupid looking. especially jacob when he had his crappy hair extensions to make him look more "native".

granted, i never read the twilight books, i wanted to, but once i saw the first movie it just ruined it for me. i assume the reason so many girls love the books is because when you read it, you put yourself in bella's place and it's like a sexy vampire and a buff werewolf want to get with you. i like that premise, i am deep down a teeny bopper till i die. but once i saw robert pattinson and taylor lautner, i knew the book would suck since i would have to picture their ugly mugs the whole time. 

maybe it is because i am old. i am sure there were people who hated the movie interview with the vampire; which is one of my absolute favorites. i am not a fan of tom cruise in any way, but he played a wonderful lestat.

i understand, it is dramatic and a bit cheesy. but lestat was cold (no pun intended) and hilarious. another movie i adore is bram stoker's dracula, directed by francis ford coppola. to me, it is a beautiful love story. a classic.

 

anthony hopkins plays a hilarious van helsing. it's such a good film, i love it.

but, now as i bow my head in shame, i must admit, i have never seen nosferatu.

OH NO THEY DIDN'T! i just decided to peruse some top vampire movies list and rottentomatoes.com has i am legend starring will smith as number 15. now, their list is compiled by the best reviewed vampire films. what an atrocity. i have never watched the movie, but i have read the book by the great richard matheson. the movie had nothing to do with the book. matheson and his crew (writers of the great twilight zone episodes, true geniuses) were all los angeles based. the i am legend book was set in los angeles, so much that it named many los angeles streets. the movie is set in new york. if will smith did a great performance, that's fine. i honestly don't care to see it. but don't change everything about the book but keep the name to sell tickets. fuckers. i really do hate the entertainment industry.

anyways, looking at the list of top vampire films i realize i haven't seen a lot of the "greats", so this week i guess i will have a vampire bonanza and watch all the top movies that netflix offers. one that looks interesting is called martin.

it is directed by george a. romero, whom i was a huge fan of until he remade his dawn of the dead. 

i know it's probably because i am a crotchety old woman, but i can't wrap my head around fast moving zombies. but i do understand the urge romero must have had to try and recreate one of his classics now that make up and technology is so much better. i think my problem is that i have loved zombie movies as far back as i can remember and all the classics had slow moving zombies. i totally miss the days when my brother and i were hard pressed to find others into the zombie genre, but when you found them they were aficionados and didn't just like any zombie crap that was shoved down their throat.

now you can't step into a video store without tripping over 5 horrible zombie films. i have seen one episode of the walking dead. BOOOOORING!

can i go home please?

today is friday. i work monday thru fridays. i cannot wait till it is 5:00pm and i can go home and start my weekend. it's been a long day. my office mate and i are not getting along. we used to get along smashingly, but on wedneday afternoon i made her mad. and then i became mad at the fact that she got upset over such a trivial matter. so our little office has been quite awkward since then. also, howard stern, my saving grace at work, only has three new shows a week. 

so my thursday and friday are spent listening to the shows over and over again. usually i have a good book to read, but the one i am currently invested in is really quite treacherous. once i start a book i usually have to finish it. good or bad. said book has a lot of good parts, but the bad parts seem to drag. oh well, i only have 2.5 hours left until i can go home, kick off my shoes and watch horrible television with my pets.

i suppose until that blissful moment i will read some more. it's kind of like a job, but once i finish it, then i can start a new one. wanna know what i am going to read next?

i really cannot wait. i hope it is a psychotic journey through postpartum depression. if not i will be truly disappointed. when she was doing all the media before the book release, it seemed as if she didn't hold back in the book; i have my fingers crossed.

everyone pretends parenthood is the most wonderful, blessed experience anyone can have. but i have watched too many episodes of super nanny and intervention to believe that hooey.

the reason people can only say the good things about parenthood is because misery loves company and they would like everyone to  make the mistakes they have. i know there are many wonderful things to being a parent, but a lot of it sucks. more people should talk about it. 

so many people have kids and say "i didn't realize it was gonna be this hard", and the reason they didn't realize how hard it would be is because all the creeps with children that they thought were friends; hid the ugly truth of parenthood in order to trap other. sneaky bastards.

my animals suffice just find as children. i love em. i take care of em, and they are the most important things in my life. that's why i am not opposed to maybe adopting one day. a lot of children need homes. some think that it would be hard to love a child that is not your own. i think it would be quite easy. my pets didn't spring from my loins but i love them with all my heart. 

so basically, something doesn't have to pop out of my vagina for me to love it....actually, i can't imagine loving something that pops out of my vagina.

there comes a time in life when preserving your brain is useless.

all the gossip blogs are saying that demi moore had a seizure the other day coz she was doing whip-its.

 

http://www.thesuperficial.com/demi-moore-was-doing-whip-its-01-2012

 

i'm sure most people are aware what whip-its are. but for those that do not i copied the following tidbit from urban dictionary.

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=whip-its 

1.	whip-its
	1. (N) Small canisters of compressed nitrous oxide intended for cooking and baking purposes, which are inhaled for a momentary high. 2. (Compound Verb with "do") The act or process of inhaling nitrous oxide from small compressed canisters or compressed cans of whipped cream.

why would a extremely succesful, beautiful women in her early fifties (49), do something so dangereous and silly as inhaling nitrous oxide for a very short high? why the fuck not! she's old. even tho she looks great, she wishes she looked better. she is almost 50, she's rich, why the fuck does she still need to preserve brain cells?

when i hit 50, i am taking up smoking cigarettes (i don't now coz fear of wrinkles), i will huff spray paint (i stopped to preserve brain cells even tho i loved it), i'll pop pills, do cocaine, anything anyone has to offer. i'll prolly start having unprotected sex too. if i end up living that long, the sky is the limit on what kind of debauchery i will get involved in.

(stands at podium)

i have been careful too long people! once i reach my golden years i shall not worry about my health. (crowd cheers) i Will not care about my looks! (louder cheering) and i refuse to worry about my brain cells or organs! (standing ovation, many people crying with joy and hope in their eyes)

but seriously, once you get old stop caring about such trivial things. getting old sucks, and i don't see how old people aren't depressed every single day. they might as well have fun. 

sit in your recliner and drink, be the life of the old people parties. i will live the second half of my life with reckless abandonment. it's gonna be super fun. and if i die early, oh well. what am i gonna do? when my time is up i really have no say in the matter. so we should all just go with the flow and not take stuff too seriously. 

my ultimate goal in old age is to live in a house (probably rent it since i can't seem to save money) with a large front porch, do drugs all day, and wear cool tie dyed outfits. 

and i will like my hair to be long and gray. i would mostly were in in a braid. i may just let a bunch of young whippersnappers use me and my social security checks just so i can party with them.

and when someone tells me i should calm down, i'm too old to behave that way. i shall simply say to them "fuck off".

i hate humans!!!!!!!!!

my grandma posted this picture on facebook and people actually clicked the "like" button. so, basically, they like the fact that an animal was killed. it's appalling! if the picture was switched around; a mountain lion with a dead human, people would not click the "like" button.

humans are such fucking assholes. they actually believe that nature is here specifically for them to use and abuse. and most of that train of thought comes from the bible and the misogynistic creeps that wrote it. and trust me, it hasn't escaped me that my grandmother is the one that posted that god awful picture. i come from a family that doesn't give a shit about animals or the environment. it's extremely frustrating, but they are hard headed, they now how i feel, and it doesn't matter. all i can do is my part in helping the environment and animals.

when i stopped eating meat for the first time (i've relapsed a lot, but i think it's gonna stick this time) my family pretty much acted in accordance with the simpsons when lisa became vegetarian. 

i do feel bad for relapsing, but i honestly believe i am done with land meat for good. i just can't eat it without thinking of poor defenseless animals. ( i am still a bad person tho, coz i eat seafood. what can i say, they aren't as cute as land animals. i think it's their eyes)

i understand that it is hard to give up meat (obviously since i relapsed) so i don't expect everyone to give it up. but it would be nice if there were more humane means of killing the animals. 

people are outraged by the fact that laws are being passed to provide hens with adequate space instead of cramming them all together in unhealthy conditions. which, the laws aren't actually doing much but people are just assholes that don't care about animals. how would they like it if they had to live in a cramped coop and shoot eggs out of their ass all day till they are dead just for their redneck farmers monetary gain. 

i wish dog breeders would have to wake up one day, having to have incest just to pop out retarded babies that have to be sold just so some asshole can make some easy money. 

people suck.

there's this awesome band called cattle decapitation, most of their songs are anti human. i love them.

they have cool shirts also.

they had a really cool shirt that said "so many humans, so few recipes" but i couldn't find the image for that one.

human life is soooo valuable, but any other life is not. give me a break.

cooking is dangerous...

so, whilst i was cooking i cut myself and i have no idea how it happened.

granted, it wasn't that ^^ bad, and it was on my palm.

i took a picture of it but i didn't post it because i realized the palm of my hand is super wrinkly. even after lotion was applied. so i didn't want to document my ugly hands. i wash them too much first of all. i am a o.c.d. having hypochondriac.  so although i continuously apply lotion, i constantly wash it off. i am sad that i may have sarah jessica parker hands.

they're not that ^^ bad yet;

but she is much older than i am when this picture was taken. hopefully my hands don't end up worse than hers when i reach her age. i wonder if they will surpass sjp soon...

that would suck! oh well, if i still have hands when i am older i suppose i should be grateful even if they look like crocodile hands. 

anyways back to cooking. it's dangerous. i cooked a simple salmon and squash dinner in the oven. i got lacerated and burnt a couple times. i sure don't look like giada when i cook (although if no mirrors are around i assume i do)

i look more like a mexican barefoot contessa, but drunk; and full of cuts and burns.

my favorite food network cook is alton brown. 

what a sexy genius he is. he kind of reminds me of thomas dolby of "she blinded me with science" fame

which coincidentally enough is my favorite song from the 1980's and my favorite song about science.

i wanted to be a scientist when i was younger, actually, my goal was to be the nobel prize winning scientist that cured herpes. 

i know that picture is disgusting, i just want there to be a cure for that nastiness. but anyways i gave up my pathologist dreams when my favorite science teacher informed me of how long it takes to become a pathologist.

basically i have very little patience and only a meager amount of ambition.

herpes scare me, so does aids and genital warts. don't fret citizens; i shan't post pictures of those diseases.

so i guess the message her is not to cook. it's dangerous.

food in excess is just as bad as alcohol in excess damnit

i hate when people say they do not wan to give pan handlers money because they figure they will just spend it on alcohol. what's wrong if they do spend it on alcohol? back when i used to pass homeless people daily, i would purchase myself a tall can, and also get one for the bum who was waiting at the end of the off ramp. personally, i would rather give them the alcohol than some change. who is it gonna hurt? the bum is already doing bad. why not give him a little buzz so his dreary existence doesn't seem so hopeless. if i were homeless i would hope that people had it in their heart to give me alcohol. 

alcoholics get such a bad rap. now, i know we can be surly, emotional, obnoxious and shouldn't drive; but same with obese people. alcohol gets taxed up the butt, but soda and junk food doesn't. i don't like paying taxes, especially because the government doesn't spend it properly. but i think that taxes on soda and snacks would help the obesity epidemic that is growing in america. as of now, the cheapest food is processed food. anything organic or natural cost money that a lot of people don't have.

in reality, we all know that taxes on unhealthy food wont make people eat better; but at least they'll have to pay high taxes on what they love like us alcoholics!

my name is yvonne and i'm addicted to book shopping...

damn, i just perused the barnes & noble discount book section. i only spent $32.00, which is not bad at all. but if you factor in the fact that i am poor, i already have a bunch of books at home that i have not read yet, and that i live approximately 15 yards from the public library, one might say i am stupid and frivolous with my barely existent cash flow. but i will go you guys one better, this weekend i am going to the libraries monthly book sale so i can splurge on used books that cost no more than a dollar each. and i cannot wait!!!!!

hopefully i can afford another bookshelf soon. why couldn't i have just been born wealthy? and my dad could've had the awesome personal library he always wanted, and i could've added to it. and unicorns existed, no one ate meat, you would need a license to have a pet, there was no war or religion. abortions were more common than births. there would be suicide machines here and there. danny devito would be my best friend. amber heard would be my lover. and their would be no scary diseases or pesky std's. oh, and alcohol didn't make you fat or ruin your liver. jeez, i could go on forever creating my fantasy world. 

speaking of fantasy, books are cool coz you get to escape from the monotony of life when you are reading. especially when you are trying to stay out of trouble or save money; just pick up a book and live in someone else's story for a while. see, if i properly utilized the library i practically live next door to, i could probably save some money. i just rented a book from the library, so it's not like i don't take advantage of it. but, if i read a good book that i borrowed, i then want to buy it to read again and highlight my favorite quotes. 

i don't exactly want to live too long, but i do hope i at least live long enough to read all the books i have acquired in my life so far. actually, i have read most of the ones i have bought, but i keep buying more so who knows. once i get some kind of life threatening disease i shall stop purchasing books and just focus on finishing the ones i have. but, one of the reasons i like to read is because it makes me a more well rounded person and helps out my vocabulary; if i'm dead, who will i impress? lol.

i hope i don't end up like the dude on the twilight zone who finally has all the time in the world to read and ends up breaking his fucking glasses. 

i am actually quite lucky. my current job allots me plenty of time to read. granted, the pay is poor and i deal with the surly low life's of this area, but at least i have a lot of down time to improve my brain muscles. this is actually the second job in my life i had like this; one where i could read all day and was close to a library. i guess i shouldn't complain.

well my friends, i must get going. my lunch is approaching and i have to go grab some free prophylactics from the family clinic. holla!

you don't expect me to swallow that tripe...

i just read letter to a christian nation by sam harris. 

it was pretty good. not really anything new in it, but he obviously stated things more eloquently than i would be able to. if you are a devout religious freak, it would probably be an eye opening experience, but i highly doubt any religions kooks would have the balls to read such a book. 

it's so frustrating how the united states is regressing back to the dark ages due to religious fanaticism. maybe it would help our country if five devoutly religious people had to share one vote. then maybe the people who actually have common sense would have a chance at the poles. and the religious shouldn't mind coz they all agree on the same bullshit so they wouldn't have to argue, all five would vote according to their spiritual rules. so, five muslim per one vote, five christians to a vote, five baptist to a vote. etc. etc.

as of now, many politicians are trying to ban abortion, stem cell research is illegal and can't get funding. all the idiotic things being done in the name of religion makes me want to give up on humanity....oh wait, i have given up on humanity.

i am not religious, and i don't care if other people are religious, until they try to combine church and state. who do these freaks think they are anyway? why do they think everyone should follow the rules of THEIR god. if i want to go party it up in hell with satan, that is my problem....oh yeah, the bible says that if you come in contact with a heathen, and you do not try to convert them, on judgement day, their blood will be on their hands.

i am not afraid of hell, nor am i a believer in a vengeful god.

when i get all down about how much most people suck and how unfair the world is, i like to believe in reincarnation. it makes me feel better to think that bad people die and get reincarnated into a terrible life. but mostly, when i see someone or an animal suffering or who have a lot of pain in their life, the only thing that can ease my bleeding heart is the thought that perhaps they were a really bad person in a past life.

but really i just believe in reincarnation to make me feel better, and i can't say i actually believe in it, i just hope that it would be what happens when we die.

most likely when we die nothing happens. we just cease to exist. that's a creepy thought isn't it?

don't bogart that blunt...

here is pop star rihanna smoking a blunt. looks fun you say? indeed it is. i dabble with weed every now and then and also feel it should be legalized. now, i believe people should be free to enjoy themselves as long as it doesn't hurt anybody. rihanna is not hurting anyone by smoking, i am just peeved that young pop stars are unwilling role models and they do not care about the young people they are influencing. the majority of rihanna's fans are children. you know why? coz her music isn't very good. but rihanna has always been a bit risque, so i am on the wall about her, since her music actually has a lot of mature themes, so at least she may be trying to reach a more mature audience. katy perry on the other hand, makes totally juvenile music. specifically targeted to junior high and high school children.

she even went on sesame street for cripes sake. and i honestly didn't think her sesame street outfit was too sexual, but i just feel that it you are going on a kids show and sing kids music, you should dress accordingly. if you wan to be risque, grow some balls and make music that an adult would like.

i know what you're thinking, that i am just a jealous prude that hates good looking people. you're goddamn right! lol, but there are many good looking people that i am jealous of that do not bother me. like, hmm, amber heard.

and it's not because i want to have sex with her and pray every night to the sweet lord above that we will meet one days soon and it will be love at first sight. or that i lovingly refer to her as my babies mamma.

 let's see, i will try to think of a beautiful successful women that i do not want to marry nor do i have any complaints about.
                                                                           kristen bell

mila kunis

 

shakira

now, i named three. of course there are many more. i am only human, and i am not very attractive. so naturally when i see a beautiful women i get jealous. but i don't hold it against them.

the worst is when someone is beautiful and genuinely nice. damn jerks. haha.

the youth of the united states has no role models and it bothers me. i am a crotchety old woman when it comes to all these little ho-bags peddling sex to young people. most kids don't have a good relationships with their parents, so they don't really develop a sturdy moral grounding. then they idolized the miley cyrus' and girls like that, and end up all used up with herpes at 18.

the behavior of celebrities is only shown to the public through rose colored glasses. hollywood director brett ratner, who is friends with many hollywood hotshots, and has been in the industry since his teens, revealed to howard stern that so many of his a-list friends have herpes.

now, i don't know how reliable he is, but i believe the herpe story. almost every time an actor or celebrities mistress comes forward, they claim that no condoms were used.

did i go off course? yes i did. let me get to the point. with all the photo shopping, flagrant bragging of monetary status and adults peddling all these superficial values to children, it gives me no hope for societies future.

and snoop dogg, he has a lot of nerve. he's damn near fifty and he is still singing to little kids.

now if that aint a song made primarily for kids i don't know what is. and i do believe kids should have fun, but also, i have had many a young friend die in car accidents while being young and free.

lady gaga has a lot of young fans even though she has adult themed music. but at least when she is interviewed she admits to her wild past, but also tells her fans that she regrets doing coke and that women should wait to have sex because it isn't even enjoyable till you get older. whether she is sincere or not, at least feigns concern.

mtv is a channel primarily for pre-teens and teens, and with jersey shore and the real world, argh, it's just terrible.

let's hope america turns a corner and we start to value intelligence and integrity. 

i had a dream...

today is martin Luther King, Jr day in the united states. 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Martin_Luther_King,_Jr.

he fought for civil rights back in  the 1950's. i am not african american, but i do hope that mr. king would have respected my rights; as a mexican american female bisexual who is extremely pro abortion. maybe not, we can't know for sure, but he at least stuck up for his people when they were facing the most adversity.

as of today, 2012, the united states is facing gay marriage and abort rights issues. this country, the u s of a, is very frustrating if you are not a closed minded hate monger. 

if i may quote the great mr van (aka dude who taught me all the cool stuff i know):

"People who say marriage is sacred and religious and all...good for them in their church temple synagogue ashram or mosque. But marriage is a secular state contract, all people are entitled to enter into. Keep your bigotry in your religious buildings and honor the constitution in public actions,like marriage."

i cannot believe that this country; that was supposedly created to diminish haters ( if you will), has the biggest group of haters running thangs. it's incredibly frustrating and confining to have the religious right be the most fanatical about voting 

so, when i protested on the corner of my podunk town in opposal to prop 8 (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/California_Proposition_8) 

we had many hateful things yelled at us. the most offensive, to me at least, was when they called us perverts. i know i am perverted, i take pride in who i am. but the fact that people in their vehicles felt it proper to condemn us for sticking up for our rights. and, as far as i have recollected in my 31 years of life on earth; "the lady doth protest too much, methinks

(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_lady_doth_protest_too_much,_methinks.)

which means, the ones so opposed to anything homosexual, is afraid of their homosexual truths.

i've said it before and i'll say it again, "enough about gays."

now, let me just post this picture of a sit in, back when segregation was dominant in the united states.

now, that whole situation was scary. these people were brave. all those angry caucasions, and they stood their ground. that whole ordeal must have hurt so much, i can only imagine each day, them thinking what they could've or should've done. but really, majority rules so they had to be subjected to the mockery and hatred of the "white man". not that i am opposed to white people, i believe that there are certain groups of people, at certain times who are horrendous. but that does not include every said person of that race, and especially at the time of their tyrannic rule.
so, in ending, i would like to post my recent facebook whatchamacallit"

celebrating Martin Luther King, Jr day should remind us that there are other civil rights issues affecting this country. if the current ones do not concern you, or you disapprove of a person being treated equal; try and focus on the fact that one day you or your child might be faced with certain rights not available or, in the past, you would have been a victim of other peoples prejudices if not for the brave individuals who stood up for what is right in the face of adversity. 

and here i go again...

i am hungover. today is the 13th day of the year and i have been hungover twice already. averaging one hangover a week, that wasn't on my list of resolutions but it is notable. i didn't even party last night, i sat and watched tv and drank continuously. i actually had to take a minute and stop myself. thank god i did, coz i still feel like shit and it's 2:29 in the afternoon.

let's get something straight. i am an alcoholic. a professional drunk if you will. i should know better by now what my limits are and what will make me sick. it's like the great poet said "everything is good in moderation". okay, i doubt a poet said that but i am too lazy to look up who actually did.

at least today is friday the 13th!

usually on friday the 13th i want to do something fun and dangerous. i never do though. tonight i am going to celebrate by watching some of the friday the 13th movies at my moms house. that'll be fun.

my favorite jason movie by far is the 3rd one. it is in 3d, the cool 1980's 3d with the red and blue outlines. i love it. also, the movie was full of cheesy excuses to show off the 3d effects. they passed the camera a joint for instance. i thought that was awesome.

the cheesier a horror movie is, the more i like. what can i say? i am a women of refined taste.

so, of the 18 pack of beer i started on last night, i have a whopping 7 left. that'll be good. as long as there is no other alcohol around i should be safe from suffering a hangover fate tomorrow. i gots things to do tomorrow. like, um, clean and stuff.

this is too funny:

have a happy friday the 13th! let's all pray that we turn into zombies or something :)