Thursday, December 29, 2011

am i bipolar?

today whilst at the doctors, trying to get something to curb my anxiety; he asked me if i was bipolar, since anti-anxiety medication doesn't go well with the bipolar. now, this was a very good question. no one had ever asked me this before. so when i would hear of a bipolar person, i would think "sucks for them". but once the question was directed to me, i started to think maybe, just maybe, i might have that disorder.

Bipolar disorder is a condition in which people go back and forth between periods of a very good or irritable mood and depression. The "mood swings" between mania and depression can be very quick.

ask my boyfriend if he thinks i am bipolar and he will say yes before he even blinks....and this is coming from a dude who takes at least five seconds to figure out which way is left. (but we still love each other).

personally, i don't think i am bipolar as much as i believe everyone else is a bunch of infuriating morons. i just try to be nice, and then people do something irritating, and therefore i take away my good attitude as punishment to them.

my mom has referred to me as a sour patch kid. supposedly i am evil, and then i do something extremely nice. i guess it makes it hard for people to dislike me for any long period of time.

one thing is certain, i am definitely not a morning person....or work person. the monotony of seeing the same people day in and day out starts to work on my nerves. so when i come to work, sometimes i do not want to be talked to. if you are around someone too long, they eventually always say the same irritating stuff every time you see them. so if i am having a bad start to my day, i end up dreading having to see, i don't necessary have fast mood changes, it's just one day i am happy to see certain people, and other days i am not.

sometimes, i decide i hate someone for the day, then i talk myself out of it and decide to be nice. that may be misconstrued as bipolar.

i don't know, i guess until i kill someone i will live not knowing the truth about my psyche. it doesn't matter anyways, the pharmacy just called and my lovely insurance doesn't cover the anti-depressants....

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