Friday, September 2, 2011

i'm scurred

i honestly never plan to have children. if i do conceive...fine. but i doubt that i am capable and also i try to be very stringent on my birth control.
 maybe the fact that i never expect to have children, gives me a matronly care for people that are younger than me or people that cannot stick up for myself.
 i have a family member....who certainly can and will stick up for them self when necessary...has recently became ill.
it scares the shit out of me.
i wish there was something i could do to help, but the only thing i can do is  become sick to my stomach worrying. i am a self proclaimed hypochondriac. the only thing i can do is consider the worst scenario and assume it is the fate of my loved one. i just hate to think that someone who has taken less risks than i have could possibly have an earlier demise than i.
i am obviously not least to those who know me. i must have some faith tho, why else would i contemplate why bad things happen to good people?
it pains me to think that someone so vibrant and lively could suddenly lose their wits.

i truly hope it is only a temporary state of mind and that my hilarious friend returns to her old self.

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