so the last time i transcribed my thoughts here, i was in a very bad state of mind. i will probably never be in a blissful state of mind; but i am turning over a new leaf and would like to escape my previous fate of being a "downer".
my relative that i was so worried about is better, she still has not had an actual sturdy diagnosis. she is closer to family now and we have hope that things will only get better; and if not, that at least she will be surrounded by loved ones.
now, personally, one of my biggest fears is that if i were to ever fall into a coma or die suddenly, that no one will take care of my appearance and people will either have memories or pictures of me looking horrid. i am hairy. therefore my face requires a very stringent hair removal routine. due to my alcoholism, i am always on the brink of looking like chubaka (with dark hair). so if i were to die suddenly, i will not be groomed properly....maybe my face will get bashed in and i will not have to worry about facial hair (crossing fingers). i am also presently overweight at the moment (yes, i am bombarded with marriage proposals daily lol) so i really hope i can cut the liquor and get to a normal weight before my demise.
the reason i am discussing my fears of coma or death is because my family member who is a very beautiful girl naturally and has a great smile also, still looks good after they shaved her head in the hospital to get the biopsy.....but i don't think it's right that family members are taking pictures of her with her shaved head and posting them all over facebook. at the very least they should wait until she is off her medication and more lucid so that they may get proper permission. the most ridiculous of these pictures is one that her sister posted, with said relative in front of a jesus statue, not so unlike this:
except his face was cheesier and his arms were lowered toward my relative. meanwhile, she is sitting in a wheelchair with a shaved head. she looks beautiful and happy, i just find it ridiculous to prop her in front of a picture of jesus when basically he hasn't done shit. sure, she's alive, but we still need answers for her condition. when i described the picture to my brother he said the caption should say "look what you've done to her you bastard" which i thought was fucking hilarious. and i thought it could say something like "(insert relatives name here)! watch your back!" obviously my brother is funnier than i, but keep in mind i wanted to be more pc.
my brother and i have made it very clear that if ever we have some terrible illness we do not want it posted on facebook asking for prayers and such. jokingly, i told my brother if someone tried to post some type of prayer thing or an update on his condition on facebook i will promptly delete it. and if it is a prayer, i will tell them: "listen here, god had his chance to do good by him and he didn't. so we don't need you to beg that megalomaniac for my brothers well being now." that's just a joke though, i wouldn't post anything about my brother or god if such a tragedy were to happen.
welp, guess i said all i care to about that subject for now. smooches!