Thursday, April 5, 2012

Hey Hollywood, Stop making Peter Parker ugly!!!

Please take a close look at the Peter Parker shown above. Notice the strong features and handsome square jaw? Now please look at the two dweebs they have gotten to play Peter Parker in the movies.

Tobey Maguire

Andrew Garfield

I mean, gag me with a spoon! Blargh! They are ugly and far too dweeby.

When the Spiderman movie starring Tobey Maguire came out, i was aghast to say the least. Mostly because the last time i had seen a reinvention of Peter Parker, it was the Fox Kids cartoon from the 90's.

Although he dressed like someone off of Miami Vice, he was classically handsome. The original comic had a classically handsome Peter Parker also. Why Hollywood chooses to make Peter look un-fuckable is beyond me.

When I have voiced my opinion on this topic, everyone has had the same infuriating response:

"but Peter Parker is a nerd in the comic"


Not the little chihuahua of a man that Hollywood is making him out to be.

Who do I think Hollywood should have cast as Peter Parker you ask? Hmm, let me think here....I would have to say an unknown razor commercial model....Let me Google handsome...

Matthew Bomer

Maybe Matthew Bomer if he wasn't so googly eyed, he can't quite pull off the Intellectual look.

But in this last picture I am posting of him, he looks so good I want to sop  him up with a biscuit.

There you go, 2012 number one draft pick for Peter Parker.


  1. WOW you're stupid. at least not with T.M. he ugly, but A.G. is alright. Better than T.M. by far.

  2. i agree with this article he was a super handsome nerd but i do think toby and andrew are good looking they are not how spidey looks though in 616 so agreed matthew bomer is awesome choice and looks more like spiderman really handsome and pulls of the super genius look. he is a amazing choice.

  3. I agree!!! They pick these dudes that look so nerdy and not attractive at all!!!