Tuesday, January 31, 2012

if i had a nickel for everyone who's seen my butthole...

i waited until i was 19 years old too lose my virginity. not so much because i was a prude, i was just a decent looking girl with large breasts who didn't want anyone in my small town to claim the title of taking my virginity.

so, when i was 19 i met a young man online and fell in love. he lived about 400 miles from me, but we started a long distance relationship and he is who i lost my virginity to. we were together for six wonderful years, we lived together for almost five of those years. and he was the only man i had ever slept with.

fast forward to the end of our relationship, and i was ready to sew my wild oats. 

i went from chaste girlfriend to super whore. i had sex with anyone. it was a lot of fun. i love random sex with strangers. but i must be honest, the title of this blog should be, if i had a nickel for everyone who has seen my vagina, but butthole went better with the comic i posted. not to say my butthole is a sacred place that has been hidden from the world or anything like that. i do love to moon people, but not to the point that my butthole shows, just my butt cheeks.

i am again in a committed relationship. i love my boyfriend, but i do miss the excitement of going out and not knowing who or what you are going to wake up next to in the morning. 

the old adage is true: you can't turn a hoe into a housewife
i think i will make a needlepoint for my living room.

              Kingthings Xstitch 
i think it would be a great decoration. and also, it's a good thing for men to know. there are a lot of men, who, after having awesome sex with a slut, wants to marry her. many have wanted to marry me. they see how wild i am and still think i'll calm down. which i have lately, but it is only a matter of time before i need to go out and get my freak on with a bunch of strangers again. it's the circle of life people.

such a great song ^^

a lot of men have kids with crazy whores. then when they meet a decent women, they end up having a bunch of crazy "baby mamma drama". if a girl is really good in bed, and doesn't make you wear a condom; put a damn condom on anyways unless you want to deal with that bitch the rest of your life. 

i use condoms when having random sex. even when i am drunk i still make them use protection. granted, i am not perfect and there has been a few times when i was so drunk and horny that i didn't give a shit. but that is rare. i don't want diseases and i do not want children. my first AIDS test i took was back in the day when they gave you the results two weeks later. that was the longest two weeks of my life. i thought of every stupid thing i have done in my sex life. i was bitchy and just worried. luckily it came out negative. now, you can get your results in ten minutes. it's still a long ten minutes; you hear loud and clear every time the clock ticks.

i think if someone has herpes, genital warts or aids, they should have to get a small tattoo near their crotch. then, the only people who would know is the people who are about to have sex with them. and they should know. and even though it is scary every one should get tested for aids and std's. sex should be fun and less risky. but of course people suck and diseases will just keep spreading. 

i wish i lived back in the days of "free love". when you could have a good old fashioned orgy and not worry about serious diseases.

now let's all bow our heads in prayer and ask god for a world without scary std's. amen.

No comments:

Post a Comment