Thursday, January 26, 2012

there comes a time in life when preserving your brain is useless.

all the gossip blogs are saying that demi moore had a seizure the other day coz she was doing whip-its.
i'm sure most people are aware what whip-its are. but for those that do not i copied the following tidbit from urban dictionary.

1. whip-its

1. (N) Small canisters of compressed nitrous oxide intended for cooking and baking purposes, which are inhaled for a momentary high.

2. (Compound Verb with "do") The act or process of inhaling nitrous oxide from small compressed canisters or compressed cans of whipped cream.

why would a extremely succesful, beautiful women in her early fifties (49), do something so dangereous and silly as inhaling nitrous oxide for a very short high? why the fuck not! she's old. even tho she looks great, she wishes she looked better. she is almost 50, she's rich, why the fuck does she still need to preserve brain cells?

when i hit 50, i am taking up smoking cigarettes (i don't now coz fear of wrinkles), i will huff spray paint (i stopped to preserve brain cells even tho i loved it), i'll pop pills, do cocaine, anything anyone has to offer. i'll prolly start having unprotected sex too. if i end up living that long, the sky is the limit on what kind of debauchery i will get involved in.

(stands at podium)

i have been careful too long people! once i reach my golden years i shall not worry about my health. (crowd cheers) i Will not care about my looks! (louder cheering) and i refuse to worry about my brain cells or organs! (standing ovation, many people crying with joy and hope in their eyes)

but seriously, once you get old stop caring about such trivial things. getting old sucks, and i don't see how old people aren't depressed every single day. they might as well have fun. 

sit in your recliner and drink, be the life of the old people parties. i will live the second half of my life with reckless abandonment. it's gonna be super fun. and if i die early, oh well. what am i gonna do? when my time is up i really have no say in the matter. so we should all just go with the flow and not take stuff too seriously. 

my ultimate goal in old age is to live in a house (probably rent it since i can't seem to save money) with a large front porch, do drugs all day, and wear cool tie dyed outfits. 

and i will like my hair to be long and gray. i would mostly were in in a braid. i may just let a bunch of young whippersnappers use me and my social security checks just so i can party with them.

and when someone tells me i should calm down, i'm too old to behave that way. i shall simply say to them "fuck off".

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